Electio Aroace

An electio aroace is an aroace person that desire and seek out relationships, whether this be sexual, romantic, queerplatonic, etc, despite not experiencing the attraction for it. They may indicate what genders they desire a relationship with, such as bi electio aroace, or lesbian electio aroace, etc.

It was coined for aroaces who felt they do not experience tertiary attraction that are important enough to warrant a place beside their aroace orientation (in the case of Oriented Aroace) or fall into the greys of attraction (in the case of Angled Aroace).

For example, someone who is Aroace and does not experience any sexual or romantic attraction, but still desire relationships with two or more genders, may call themself a bi electio aroace.

Etymology
"Electio" comes from Latin ēligō +‎ -tiō. It means "choice or selection"

Definitions

 * A person who feels no attraction whatsoever but has sexual/romantic relationships anyway. - ElectioAroace. 2019 (formerly CupioAroace)
 * A label for Aroaces who desire relationships (romantic, sexual, queerplatonic, or other) despite the lack of the "necessary" attraction for it. - 2021

History
The term electio aroace is similar to Oriented Aroace and Angled Aroace, the difference being Electio emphasize desire for relationships with no relation to, or despite the lack of, attraction. It was created by tumblr user ElectioAroace on July 18, 2019 when they felt Oriented and Angled did not fit them, and was originally called Cupio Aroace. It was however later changed to avoid confusion with the cupio identities (since one does not have to identify as cupio to identify as electio aroace).

Flag
The main Electio Aroace flag was the second design made by ElectioAroace on or before May 26, 2019, edited on the post shortly after announcing the term. The color meaning are, Purple for our asexuality, Pink for our desire for relationships, Green for our aromanticism, White for the communities we belong to, and Black for our lack of attractions.

The first flag (made by the same person) was coined on the post announcing the term. The flag colors were softer and paler than the second, had a grey stripe, and had the color stripes on the bottom.

Coining
"Electio aroace?

K so i’ve been thinking about this ever since the creation of the terms oriented aroace (by biaroace ) and angled aroace (by official-angledaroace )

As someone who has always wanted to be with girls and only girls but felt no attraction the idea of being both aroace and another orientation blew my mind.

Oriented aroaces and angled aroaces are great terms but i don’t really fit into either of their definitions. I don’t feel tertiary attractions and i don’t fall into the grey area of attraction.

For a while i thought i should accept i’m just aroace and stop trying to be a part of the wlw community. I felt fake. The thought of making a term for myself crossed my mind but i discarded it; i would be called cringy, annoying, i would be accused of trying to shove myself in places i didn’t belong in. I would be made fun of.

Then i realized i was already being called cringy and annoying. I was already being accused of trying to shove myself in places i didn’t belong in. I was already being made fun of. That’s just how it is to be aspec on tumblr right now. At least i could be happy with a term that fit me while they do it.

And i know, every aroace that is in a relationship just call themselves aroace and doesn’t make a fuss unlike me. But i think the people i date influence my identity and i want to reflect that.

So i’ve decided i’m a lesbian electio aroace.

I still felt a little guilty for calling myself a lesbian but then i thought: “if i’m a woman and i date women, and have sex with women and hold hands with women and only with women, then anyone who sees me, anyone who knows about my relationships will see me as a lesbian. And if the people around me see me as a lesbian and i see myself as a lesbian then why wouldn’t i be a lesbian?

So this is my orientation. Electio aroace: a person who feels no attraction whatsoever but has sexual/romantic relationships anyway. It’s going to get called cringy but i don’t care. The fantastic thing about the ace and aro communities being so young is that we get to create our own history and our own terms. The sky is the limit and i think that’s wonderful.

Maybe other people want to identify as electio aroace or maybe it’s just gonna be me. I’d like other people’s opinions and input. Here’s a flag i made:

[Six striped flag. Top to bottom, black, grey, white, pastel pink, pastel purple, soft green]

Idk, maybe some people will think it’s stupid to create a whole new term. “just say you’re romance/sexual positive, no need for this!”, i imagine some will think. Maybe this has been done before and i didn’t see it. I really don’t know.

If i end up being the only one who finds this term useful i’ll be fine with that, but i think it’d be rad if there are others who feel the same way as me. If this term helps another person i’d feel really good for sure.

It’d be super duper appreciated if people reblogged this, at least so people know this is a thing.

Criticism is welcome as long as it’s constructive. Please don’t be hostile about it.

(EDIT)

This

[Five Striped flag. Top to bottom, Purple, Pink, Soft Green, White, Black]

Is the new electio aroace flag! I’ve seen some posts using the other one but this is the updated version! I think it’s an improvement!

(EDIT 2)

I’ve edited this post since i’ve changed the name of the term.

It used to be cupio aroace but i changed it to avoid confusion and because it could be interpreted as things i didn’t intend for it to mean (you don’t need to be cupiorromantic/cupiosexual to identify with this term for example!). The term now is “electio aroace” (electio means choice in latin)."

- CupioAroace, 2019